"Hope is the thing with feathers"
What is strength? What is weakness? What is pain? What is fear? Where do these words fit inside me? In the past 2 years that I’ve been sick I lost so much hope. Endured so much disappointment when all the things I tried to do to help myself get better inevitably didn’t work. I lost so much life. So much of myself I felt shrivel up and wither away into nothing. I was afraid of being judged for unconventional ideas of how to heal and get better so I was hesitant to tell anyone I was dealing with anything, much less that I had cancer. I was so angry and restless. Stuck in a body I didn’t understand what was happening to. Bouncing from feeling betrayed by my body to feeling as though I had failed my body and not done enough to try and help it, to keep this from happening. I had little grace and no compassion for myself as I was going through this process. I was stubborn. Unmoving at times. But still part of me flowed. Something kept me going. ...