2:53 a.m.
It's 2:53 a.m. January 20th, 2020
I woke up because I left my lamp on and I now remember that I forgot to brush my teeth. It's been raining but it's slowed down for the most part and now I just hear the steady drip of water falling from the roof outside my window.
I don't hear anyone else in the house, not even my little brother which is rare these days since he's the night owl in the house now. I seem to be the only one in a house of 5 people plus 5 animals that's awake right now.
I love that feeling.
Being totally alone with no one else's emotion or energy. I feel like I can actually think, process my thoughts and feelings or just simply be.
When I was younger I used to stay awake late like this and I loved it. I loved the freedom I felt like it gave me...
It's raining harder now and I'm getting sleepy but I don't want to turn my lights out to go back to sleep yet. My alarm is set to go off in just a couple of short hours because I like to wake up before everyone else in the house so I can be alone but it's not the same alone as I feel right now, it's different somehow and I like the way this feels better.
I feel like even if I had no idea what was happening with my life I could figure it out or at least be okay with not knowing what I was doing if it was 3 a.m.
Maybe this is why I stayed up so late when I was younger, maybe I felt like I could get a grasp on what I wanted my life to be even when in reality I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going. But when I was completely alone in the middle of the night, I felt like I was really on to something.
This time right now somehow feels sacred to me, this silence, this being alone with the rain and my thoughts, it feels good to me.
I only hold on to the good thoughts though.
The ones that tell me I'm gonna be alright.
I woke up because I left my lamp on and I now remember that I forgot to brush my teeth. It's been raining but it's slowed down for the most part and now I just hear the steady drip of water falling from the roof outside my window.
I don't hear anyone else in the house, not even my little brother which is rare these days since he's the night owl in the house now. I seem to be the only one in a house of 5 people plus 5 animals that's awake right now.
I love that feeling.
Being totally alone with no one else's emotion or energy. I feel like I can actually think, process my thoughts and feelings or just simply be.
When I was younger I used to stay awake late like this and I loved it. I loved the freedom I felt like it gave me...
It's raining harder now and I'm getting sleepy but I don't want to turn my lights out to go back to sleep yet. My alarm is set to go off in just a couple of short hours because I like to wake up before everyone else in the house so I can be alone but it's not the same alone as I feel right now, it's different somehow and I like the way this feels better.
I feel like even if I had no idea what was happening with my life I could figure it out or at least be okay with not knowing what I was doing if it was 3 a.m.
Maybe this is why I stayed up so late when I was younger, maybe I felt like I could get a grasp on what I wanted my life to be even when in reality I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going. But when I was completely alone in the middle of the night, I felt like I was really on to something.
This time right now somehow feels sacred to me, this silence, this being alone with the rain and my thoughts, it feels good to me.
I only hold on to the good thoughts though.
The ones that tell me I'm gonna be alright.
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