Everything has a built in ending

I've been thinking a lot about change lately and how nothing can ever really stay the same. With something as constant as change you'd think we as people would get used to it and accept it instead of curse it away but it's human nature to hold on to what's familiar because it's safe and we don't have to worry about it challenging us to be a better version of ourselves.

 I learned so much about love this year, about holding on and letting go, about how if you don't watch out something you thought was true love can turn into something ugly filled with pride and ego. I learned that love gives you the time you need to grow, to love yourself as you are now and to love the person you're changing into. I think everything in life is a choice and how we choose to react to what life gives us makes us who we are. We don't have to play the victim in life and say the world made us who we are when we have all the power to not only accept the change but embrace it. I think everything has a built in ending but it's not always the end, end, maybe it's just the end of how we treat ourselves or others, the end of how we understand some things, how we look at life, how we choose to experience things. Nothing can stay the same forever, but did it really end or just change? I sometimes think about how many different versions of me there are and how they'll always just keep adding up and building on top of each other. Maybe we never truly become the person we want to be because we're always moving towards a better version of ourselves. We carry so much of who we used to be around with us sometimes in shame or regret but I don't want live with regret for my past so I had to make peace with who I used to be. I think it's pointless to wonder who we'd be if not for this person or that thing happening. Whatever happened, happened and here we are now. What are you gonna do with the change life gave you? 

You may walk through the same door a thousand times but you never walk through the door the same. Even though your feet take you to the place you call home every night is it ever the same? What did you learn while you were away? Does it still look the same? Probably. But do you look at it the same? Maybe not. I wonder who we'll be tomorrow. I wonder if we ever make it, if we ever look back and think "I'm finally here." Sometimes I miss parts of who I used to be or maybe I just miss how ignorant I was about some things. I used to think that change meant nothing but a stripping away of what I had known for so long, an abandoning in a way because when things first die away and change we think only of ourselves and how hard it is to let go... But I wonder what we could accomplish in life if we would embrace the change with more ease. I know we hear that without death there would be no life all the time but I don't know how often we actually think about it. What we've let die in order to live, to be better no matter how scary it was because we knew that there was a time to hold on and a time to let go. I sometimes have trouble letting go because I'm afraid of losing things I feel like I never got the chance to experience but then I remember that nothing ever ends before it begins. At the same time I sometimes have a hard time holding on because if it's not exactly what I want right then, then I think its time to move on and find what I'm looking for. It can turn into a vicious cycle, a happiness trap, of never being happy. So now I look for the give and take, the balance in life and change, holding on and letting go, and learning how to love throughout all of it.